just so.... Random

New Blog

2007-05-15T15:32:00.000+10:00

CLICK HERE

Yep - it's FINALLY up.

If you're one of the super cool people that have me linked on your page, please update links.

Sneak peek:

A Whole Month!

2007-05-11T23:27:00.000+10:00

I can't believe it's been a whole month since my last post. I do have a few things to offer up in my defense though.

Firstly - who knew switching to Typepad would be so HARD! OMGosh! I thought it would be easier then blogger. So far... no way! I'm almost there though - honest. Just a few more things to add and then I'll be switching over. I think I'll have my first post as my Top Ten from 2006 - that way, I can look back in a year's time.

Secondly - my actions are ready to go. I just need to get Typepad up and running and we'll be off. I'm really excited about this because... I have a new one! I'm loving it...

As for my marketing, etc... well. It is coming along... seriously. I have a new logo and am working on my business cards and some post cards, pricing, collections and the typepad blog. I have a newborn shoot coming up and I have plans to get that one 'WoW' image... I'll post it when I get it.

Danny had his knee reconstruction 4 months before we'd expected it. It's put me It's made a lot of things fairly difficult but we'll make it through, we always do. He developed an infection but was very lucky that it moved down his leg, so his wound wasn't infected. That set him back a week or two on doing his exercises, etc. He's finally doing them now and he's started walking... tiny steps and with the crutches still on hand but not on the ground. We're looking at another 3 weeks with the crutches yet though. Then it's time to take it off and bend the knee - ouch!

Piper has asthma. She's had it forever. It never really played up in Queensland but does down here. This is the perfect time to mention how MUCH I miss Queensland - the wather, the life... Anyway, for the 2 winters that we've been back here, her asthma has flared up and she's needed ventalin on and off. This year though, she's been put on a preventative puffer twice a day and at the moment she's getting the ventalin four times a day.

I started helping out at my mum's shop again. My brother had a car accident. Nothing too serious but he had a really sore neck. I called her and asked if she needed help since he wasn't able to work and she said yes. Things are totally sh*t in that department though. I mean, on the work side they're fine. Personally... we're going down the drain. It hurts. Alot.

We've lost someone we thought was a really great family friend. I wont go into details here. I'll just say that he did something extremely inappropriate. It's really hard... he and Danny have been friends for 20+ years... he and I for 10+ years and he's always been around for the kids. It's so strange knowing that he wont be coming around anymore. Sometimes, people just suck, right?

My computer is having SERIOUS issues. Not sure if anyone remembers but I got a new Dell computer sometime in the second half of last year. I went with a Dell. I really liked that I could go on their site and 'build' my own computer. I really love it too... 250GB HD, 2GB RAM, Dual Core Processor. Well, in January I had issues. I kept getting the Blue Screen Of Death (otherwise known on the internet as BSOD). I called. They told me everything was fine. Two weeks later my hard drive crashed. I do have to say, they sent the tech out with my new hard drive very quickly.

About a month ago, everytime I tried opening, burning or tranferring one particular photo file, I'd get the BSOD. I ended up deleting the file and everything was fine, so I thought. (this is after spending a whole DAY backing up onto DVD - the poor thing was running so slowly).

A few days ago, same thing happens. It's grown from one file to three - all in the same folder. Ring Dell... 'oh, it's not OUR problem' - Grrrrr. Tech came out this afternoon. He was here for HOURS. Seriously, I got back from shopping at 4pm and he was here and I got home from mum's shop just past 7pm and he was still here... and he left sometime around 8pm. When he's leaving, he tells me that it's actually in worse condition then when he got here, that he doesn't know what's wrong with it, and that he's done working on it. WTF?!?!?!

Danny gets online tonight to do some research. We find out that a LOT of people have problems with the Dells sent out in 2006 with MY problem!!! Apparently, the only way to really fix the problem is to get a replacement but it's almost impossible to get Dell to admit it's their problem and to send the replacement. Ugh. So... tomorrow I'm going to call a few different places - Fair Trading, Consumer Affairs, etc and get some information. Then I'm calling Dell again. I'm really fired up about this too. I'm going to be forceful and I'm GOING to get this situation resolved. Will keep you updated.

I've not been online as much lately. I'm missing my online buddies on MSN and Hello and also at the message boards I go to. I love you aaaaaaaaaaaall! It's been ages since I've been able to really blog surf too.

Oh oh oh... I called my girl Stacia the other day! The quality of the line wasn't perfect but it wasn't terrible either - and it cost me NOTHING! It was so exciting! I was a giggly little school girl. I just lurve that southern accent. I think it's my favourite in the entire world. Stacia - love you, miss you, gonna call you again soon - hope your foot gets better soon :).

I think that must catch me up. LoL If you've read this far - here's a photo for you. Not my usual thing...

Ciao!

Exciting new things...

2007-04-11T00:18:00.000+10:00

going on.

I've deleted my old photo a day blog. I'm a little disappointed that I didn't keep it up. I thought I was going really well but I got behind and I'm anal and couldn't post after I'd missed one day. So now, it's gone.

I've got a new typepad blog coming very soon. I'll probably still post my personal stuff here for a while but all my session will be posted there once it goes up.

Actions - woo hoo! Thanks to everyone that has asked about my actions. I gives me such a thrill every single time I'm asked. Once the new blog goes up, I'll have my actions ready for sale. They'll be available seperately and in a bundle. I'm really excited about this!

I also have something else I'm working on at the moment. I should have it worked out in the next week or 2. This one will be more for the Aussies but is totally available to everyone.

I've also decided that I've got to stop sitting around and being afraid to approach people about shoots. I know that I can do this and I want to do it, more then anything... so I'm in the middle of putting together a marketing plan and excited about implementing it.

So yeah... lots of new exciting stuff going on for me at the moment!

And I just have to say a special hello to one of my favourite Americans ever! Stacia babe, I love you and I sooooooooo miss chatting with you. Good news? We just upgraded to high speed internet and have invested in a broadband phone!!! I'll be able to call you soon!

A Teaser...

2007-04-03T00:06:00.000+10:00

Love this red door...

Searching out new locations... determined to find 'spots' in my town that I can use for an entire shoot, and still get a wide variety of backgrounds.
Will be posting more in a few days... I love these photos of Jadzia though and couldn't resist posting them.

I'm having calibration issues so if you see funky colour or anything, let me know!

Weather change

2007-04-02T09:43:00.000+10:00

It's turned cold here over the last week or so. Autumn is definitely in the air. I hate the cold weather. I don't mind cooler weather, but here... winter is winter. Freezing cold chilly winds, etc.

On the bright side, that meant it was time to start buying jumpers - that's sweaters for you Americans.
Got this gorgeous jumper from The Pumpkin Patch. I don't usually shop there because it's a bit more expensive then I like... but a once off is ok, right?

These were taken at the end of the day... not the best light. She asked though, and how could I resist?

Was playing with the blur filter here... and 2 photos up. The one 2 up was using the zoom blur and this one was using the radial blur. Don't think I used them properly but I see potential...

Cheeky monkey...

Looking at this face you wouldn't think that it was HER idea for the mini shoot, would you? Playing with textures. I think they could be fun too :)

So... as you're all enjoying the signs of spring... think of me over here, turning cold and about to battle the WPS (Winter Photography Slump).

Jessie's Back!!!

2007-03-25T22:28:00.000+10:00

I didn't break her!

LooK --->

Jess was always my favourite model... agreed to have photos taken almost anytime and would let me experiment and posed so well...
Then I broke her :(
I'd posed her so often that she couldn't act naturally anymore.

Every photo I got of her was fake, forced and uninspiring...

So I gave up for a while... still took happy snaps and all but nothing serious.

The other night I was showing a friend some of my favourites from this year on Hello and we both noticed that I hadn't taken many of Jess at all this year.

Also, her birthday is next month and she's having her party here (YES!) so we decided on photo invites. She was going to use one of the photos taken in October but she's changed a lot since then and I wanted to see if we could get something fresher...

I happen to think we NAILED it! And I'm sooooo freakin' happy with them.

I love colour... it's so bright, happy, fun... out there...

but I'm really lovin' B&W lately too.

This one just blows me away....

Remember - she's only 11 years old! She turns 12 at the end of next month.

We spent about 20 mintues on this shoot... definitely not more then 30. It was all natural light, with a reflector. We had a brick wall for the background. I had quite a few other 'good' shots but next to these they just looked pale... she also thinks she's older then she is and tries to pose more suggestively... she KNOWS that I don't allow this and she also knows upfront that I'll delete any like that (why do I take them? Sometimes she moves just as I click or I don't realise until after I've clicked)

For processing... all the colour ones are with my Colour BAM! action, plus a new skin technique I'm trying to get right. The B&Ws are my own conversion. I burnt a vignette onto each of them. They're all in camera crops too... except that I cropped a little of the ends to be 5x7.

A shoot - start to finish...

2007-03-20T23:40:00.000+11:00

When I get to do a photo shoot with Pacey I know I have to be prepared because it wont last long. This time, it was about 5 minutes only...

We start with the nice shot...

Then we get the first funny shot...
He loves showing off his muscles - can you see them?

Next he has to 'twirl' like his big sister...

Right here, he was singing "picking flowers for my mummmmmmy"

Awwwwwwwww....

aaaaaaaaand - we're done!

Outtakes...

2007-03-19T21:39:00.000+11:00

So yesterday I was raving about how gorgeous she is - and she is, really.... Check out these outtakes from today...

Not so bad, right?

And all downhill from here...

Go away!
aaaaaaaaand... we're done.

I think outtakes are a lot of fun sometimes. So I'm going to tag Julie, Tina & Jen to share their outtakes too. Check them out!

At the park...

2007-03-18T23:24:00.000+11:00

The last week has been just CRAZY with my mum opening her new shop and all the stuff that goes with that. Hopefully, from now on it will all calm down.

We had some time to go to the park today. We haven't been for ages, even though the weather has been great. The last time we were there the older kids wanted to go home and asked not to go back. The equipment is covered in graffiti... and some of it is pretty explicit. We went to meet up with Piper's best friend and his mum today. They were too busy having fun to take any notice of the graffiti today, which was good.

Seriously, this boy freaks me out. He's such a BOY! I think he might just be the one who comes to me with our first broken bone. He was jumping off the top of the ladder you can see in the background. I started out telling him to stop... but he was fine. Then, I notice how the dust flies as he hits the ground. Ok, here comes the photographer in me. I set up and he does it over and over for me.

Not to be outdone of course, Jadzia had to give it a go. I didn't get a great shot of her with the dirt flying but this was the best of the bunch.
I just love this girl. I cannot believe there was a time when I didn't want to be near her. I think back to those years and it just seems like a distant nightmare. She's gorgeous - inside and out. I think I will feel guilt over all that for the rest of my life. If you've read my blog from the beginning you'll know what I'm talking about. If not, sorry for being vague. I should probably explain but it's my blog... so I don't have to :p ;)

Ugh. Really... that just about says it all, doesn't it?

Setting up shop...

2007-03-12T23:20:00.000+11:00

My feet hurt... seriously - throbbing, aching, stinging... just all over hurting.

My legs hurt. Yep, them too... a dull, not-going-away, soreness.

My mum bought a shop. Everything settled on Friday last week. Friday - LOTSA running around getting all the legals sorted out. Saturday/Sunday... painting, cleaning, building new counters, moving big heavy crap, learning to cook, cleaning, keeping 6 children under control, cleaning, counting stock, making decisions, sorting everything out... did I mention the cleaning yet?

This morning, Monday, first day trading. Yay mum - it's done and ready!

Busy busy busy. I was soo surprised by how constantly busy it was. From 10:30 until 3:30 there was not a chance to sit down. I know that's great for business but it's not so hot for my poor legs and feet that just aren't used to it.

So, for the last 4 days, it's been absolutely NON stop. I'm just about to head to bed now... but knew I just had to come post... I know you all dwell in darkness without regular updates *insert sarcastic grin*.

I also wanted to thank everyone who has purchased the Booster Baby! action. I'm working on a few more to add to the mix. I have a stronger colour boost action and an eye pop action that is super easy to use and adjust to your personal taste. I just need to get a little more time to post some examples for you all.

No photos today :(

This put a smile on my face...

2007-03-08T23:27:00.000+11:00

I've been feeling in a funk lately. It's extra frustrating to me as I have good weather. I have sunlight and it's easy for me to take photos if I want to. I know that towards the end of our looong winter, I'll be screaming for sunlight... the weather is starting to turn now... getting colder, raining more... but yet, I can't seem to pull myself out of it.

What I have been doing is getting caught up on editing photos. I'm still behind on getting all the pics from our holiday done... can't believe how many I took. I've gotten behind on my photo of the day to... and that's annoying me.

Anyways, the photo above put a smile on my face tonight. It's of my sister's youngest girl, Little Miss B. She's adorable. She wasn't feeling very well though. She'd just had some medicine for a temp and was having some time out in the bath.

I used my new colour action, Colour BAM, on this as well as my It's in the Eyes action (an eye popping action). I'm really happy with the way it's turned out.

This is for Mum...

2007-03-02T23:19:00.000+11:00

My mum told me that I HAD to blog something and soon. So here I am...

I've had the best laugh night tonight. The good kind... the kind where there's tears in your eyes and your cheeks start to hurt.

First, I watch a YouTube video of Steve Irwin. It's 11pm while I'm watching it... Danny came in from the loungeroom and Pacey came in from his bedroom... both wanted to know what I was laughing about. We were watching it together and just laughing and laughing. You've got to check it out. I've tried to post it with this... hope it works.

Then I'm watching Sex in the City reruns. I haven't been watching for a while (I get sick of seeing the same thing over and over). I couldn't resist watching tonight though as it was the Paris episodes. I looooooooove those episodes. Just love them.

I'm watching, and even though I knew it was coming I STILL laughed my ass off at Big saying, "I'm kickin' some Russian ass." Then he's off and after the Russian... and then when she trips him in the hallway and they're just laying there laughing...

I love laughter... when was the last good laugh you had?

Nearly there...

2007-02-23T23:14:00.000+11:00

Just wanted to update for the Elements users...

Happy to say that the action has worked for PSE5 and PSE4. Still testing on PSE3.

Shouldn't be long now... thanks for being patient.

Booster Baby! action for sale

2007-02-21T23:41:00.000+11:00

I'm so excited to finally have this ready to go!

I've been asked about this a ton of times and finally thought, why not? I use this action on 95% of my colour photos. I will say that I do tweak it to fit each photo. I've made it super simple to be able to tweak it yourselves. In fact, I recommend you use it that way.

Below are some examples, clicking on them will make them bigger. I did nothing to these photographs except crop, run the action, resize, and sharpen... no tweaking.

Please send your PayPal payment of $4.99USD to renee.oakenfull@gmail.com and the action will be emailled to you within 24 hours - usually sooner then that. Due to the nature of the purchase, no refunds will be given.

PHOTOSHOP ELEMENTS USERS:

I have a few people testing this out at the moment for me. It looks like we might be able to get it to work on PSE4 and PSE5. I just need to fine tune the details. It should be sorted out in the next 24 hours. Check back soon...

Back again...

2007-02-17T23:22:00.000+11:00

I don't think I've had this long between posts before. I know that all my faithful readers must of been feeling as though they were dwelling in darkness without a new post from me. It's ok... I'm back now. ;)

Well... I've been proofing the wedding I shot at the end of January, getting organised with the 3 older kids back at school and that's about it. I know it doesn't sound like much. I've also been going to bed before midnight every night, which, if you know me you know is strange. It's really working though. I'm waking up much happier and easier in the mornings now. Oh, and I've spent a few nice days with my Mum lately.

I should be blogging regularly again now. This week I'm working on a name for a photography business - I've been sort of portfolio building but now this wedding is over I'm ready to get more into it - and a logo. If anyone has ANY ideas I would soooo love to hear them. I don't have one of 'those' names so I don't think Joe Smith Photography sounds good. I'm wanting to go for something young, fresh, funky and fun. With the colours, I'm either going for the baby pink lime green type look - love it - or a more subtle chocolate brown baby pink or blue look.

I'll leave you with some recent pics of my sister's children...

I've been tagged...

2007-02-07T22:05:00.000+11:00

Twice!

6 weird things about me by Marla and Sarah for 6 things that make me very happy.

I'm going to cheat on the 6 weird things. I was tagged on my Photo A Day blog so some of these are a copy. I must just be too normal. I can't come up with 12 weird things about myself!!!

6 weird things about me...
1. I have a favourite side - really... it's my left side.
2. I copy people when I walk... fall into step with them.
3. I like really hot salty McDonalds fries dipped into one of their hot chocolate fudge sundaes - hmmmm.
4. I don't wear any rings - not even my engagement and wedding rings.
5. I homeschoolled my daughter for 6 months and my son for 9 months.
6. I make words up on the fly... so long as I get my point across that's ok, right?

6 things that make me very happy...

1. Chocolate!

2. Watching my children play together, as a team. It seriously makes my heart skip a beat.

3. Getting that 'wow' photo. (doesn't happen often enough)

4. Hanging out with my sister and her family.

5. Getting some real time out with Danny. (this REALLY doesn't happen often enough)

6. Hanging out with my girlfriends...

I have a BUNCH more things that make me happy. This list is not exclusive. I put the first 6 things down that came into my head... ok, I lie - I left one of them out ;)

Now... I'm tagging Jadzia, Mum, Jessie, Brenda, Robyn and Jen.

I'll leave you with another beachscape pic from the holidays. I really tried to get a dark, stormy feel.

Holiday snaps...

2007-02-06T23:48:00.001+11:00

Thanks guys for answering my 'chips-and-soft-drink-pity-party' call. I didn't realise how whiney I sounded.

Just thought I'd update with a few more of the photos I took on holiday. Bailey and I had a great time shooting the surfers. The day after, I took Jadzia and she was enjoying herself too - until the batteries in the camera ran out. I couldn't even give her my spare because they're different.

I can't decide if I like this one in colour or B&W better... what do you think?

Here's one of the beach landscapes I took.

The kids have their swimming carnival tomorrow. None of them can actually swim properly but there are other activities they can take part in. Notes came home from school today for band too... Bailey and Jadzia both want to join so that's great! Oh - and the big news of the day {insert drum roll} Piper got her very first merit award, for tracing.

Do I smell?

2007-02-04T23:25:00.000+11:00

I swear... I've taken a shower and I have pretty smelly spray on ;)

No one's commenting lately... am I talking to myself? I mean... totally possible. I've often wondered why anyone would read about my life... but now I feel lonely without you all. Hmm... I am a little strange, yes?

Just one of Danny to share today. This was taken while on holidays. I've been so busy proofing the wedding I shot but today I took time out to do some holiday snaps.

I trully love this man... with every ounce of my being...

Much ado about nothing...

2007-02-04T00:53:00.000+11:00

Well... it's been a busy week! We got back from holidays late Saturday. Since then, we've been trying to catch up on cleaning, buying the kids school supplies, sending the kids off to start school again - Piper going for the first time, organising the house (those who know me know that organisation isn't my strong point), catching up with friends, getting my poor puter fixed, trying to get the laptop fixed, proofing holiday photos and more importantly, proofing client pics. Also, Danny works off a 2 week roster. One week he's rostered on normally and the second week is pretty full on... this week of course. Oh! Oh! Oh! He's not been having a fun time at work lately but due to certain issues that I can't really talk about, his work situation will be changing and he's really happy about it. So yay Danny!

So, what's new? Piper has a sore tooth. I'm not sure if it was loose or not to start with (her and Bailey 'bumped' into eachother this morning) but it is now and it's aching. Poor little girl. Pacey has gotten bored without the other kids at home... even Jack has gotten more quiet now they are back at school. He's following me everywhere - if I leave the room, he's right behind me.

I don't have any new pics to share. I'm dying to go through the holiday photos properly but they'll have to wait until the wedding photos are proofed. For now, here's a quick one of my sister.

Sunsets...

2007-02-01T23:51:00.001+11:00

Just the one really. I don't get a chance to shoot sunsets. Where I live just isn't the place for it. When on holidays, I told my sister that I desperately wanted the sunset. So... we jumped in the car and she took me to this little place... had a long, thin piece of land that jutted out into the water. We had to wait just over half an hour for the sun to get down there - but when it did, wow... I only had about 5 minutes to go for it.

Without further ado... my 5 favourites from that evening...

I'm not completely sure about the composition on this one. I don't think it sticks to any rules but it works for me. The thing I really like about this one though is the sun itself.

The last photo is sooc (defog & sharpen). All the other photos have been defogged (some more then once) and sharpened also... the only other thing I did in editing was a soft light layer at 50%.

First days...

2007-01-31T23:23:00.000+11:00

*** WARNING: photo overload ***

Yesterday (Tuesday) was Jessie's first day of high school. She had been nervous but excitement took over a few days before. She's had a new haircut and that, coupled with the uniform, make her look so much older. Everyone is having the time of their lives teasing Danny about having a child old enough to be in high school...

Skip to today... Piper's first day of kindergarten. Omgosh... if only you knew. Years ago, I couldn't wait for this day... when she would be out of the house and away. Now though, I just want to hold her close and not let her go. I've so much to make up for and never enough time.

I'm weird? Come on... it's all about the lunch box baby!!!

On the path... headed away... I didn't cry, really I didn't.

Just think... next year I'll have 4 of them lining up for this shot. I might try to get all 5 actually.

This was my gift for the day... I just wish I had of thrown Pacey into the mix.

Big brother... big sister... leading the way.
A little unsure... omgosh, I wanted to go sit with her so bad!

A last hug goodbye to Granma before heading off...

Walking up the stairs - to her classroom and away from me.

A kiss from a princess to her daddy... and one in return.

Well... I did warn you about the overload :)

I'm back!!!

2007-01-28T22:13:00.000+11:00

Did you miss me?

Come on... just a little?

Well... I took my computer away with me - I was all geared up to be a good girl while I was on holiday and keep up with my photo a day and maybe update here with some holiday snaps. I also had to upload pics for my Impact Posing course at www.ppsop.com. Day 1... turn puter on to upload my deadline assignment photos.... nothing. Yep, nothing. Omgosh... panic stations. I go into panic mode and Danny goes into 'knight in shining armour' mode. He's running all these diagnostic tests and trying everything... still no go. Windows wouldn't even load. I call Dell... bad bad news - hard drive has crashed! Tears, tantrums... meltdown mode for sure.

Danny grabs the kids and takes them to the motel pool, hoping I'll calm down while he's gone. I don't plan to... Next thing, I'm on the phone to my mum, asking her to log into Hello under my name and contact Julie (her blog is in the list on the right - That Red Dirt Road) for me. Julie is also taking the posing course. I'd sent her pics from my practice shoot... was thinking I could use them. No go though - exif data was no longer attached. So, I'm talking to Julie, through my mum... still crying... and they were both great. Instructors too... they let me post my assignmennt late. Ok, time to breathe now and force all thoughts of the hard drive out of my head to enjoy the holiday. *sigh*

We had the BESTEST time!!! It's the first time we've ever gone on holiday. We've gone visiting before... but never just simply on holiday. We did a bunch of stuff... the kids were fantastic too and Danny really relaxed. I have 5gb of memory cards full of photos to sort through, process and post. I can't even start that until Dell bring the new hard drive though (I'm on the kids' sucky sucky computer). So... be prepared to be bombarded with photos at that point.

I plan on doing some serious blog surfing this week... as well as checkng in on the message boards I hang out... I've missed chatting with all my internet buddies, but it was good to see that I can actually survive without the computer when needed.

Remember my engagement couple?

2007-01-21T02:35:00.000+11:00

This couple?

Well..... I've been sitting on a bit of a secret. Wanna know? You can probably already see anyways... if not, scroll down........

.....

nope, further...

Yep - today was their big day. Mick & Paula, I wish you the very best that life can bring... and for the times when life is bringing less then it's best, I wish for you the strength, commitment and compassion to carry you through. I want to thank you both for believing in me and wanting me to be your photographer. Oh, and that cake was DEL-IC-IOUS!!! I couldn't stop thinking of M's profiterole story though ;-).

Here's a few to tide you over...

The GORgeous Miss K - flower girl extraordinaire! She has the most beautiful, dark, soulful eyes...

One of my favourites from the day...

So, in just a few hours I'm off to the beach for a week! What a way to spend the last week of the school holidays, huh? When we get back, it will be a mad dash to make sure we have everything we need, etc. Piper goes to kindergarten this year. She's so little it just seems so wrong....

So yeah, I'll be getting on once a day (I think) to post my photo a day, but that's probably all I would do.

Puh-lease check this website out...

2007-01-19T12:19:00.000+11:00

... and if you can find it in your heart to contribute, then that's great. Either way, send the link to tons of people and maybe some of them can donate.

http://projectsahm.blogspot.com/

I am NOT affiliated with this in any way. I found this while blog surfing and think it's wonderful. I wanted to help get it noticed.

ps - big day tomorrow girls, wish me luck :)

Meet Jenni --->

2007-01-17T15:33:00.000+11:00

Isn't she gorgeous? I mean really... just look at those eyes!

Jenni came over the other day to pose for me. I'm doing a course at www.ppsop.com on Impact Posing and needed a female model. Isn't she great?

Jenni and I have been friends since we were 8 years old. It really is the funniest story. She's going to kill me for telling you - but hey, this is my blog... right? :-)

Well... I was the new girl in Year 3 at school. No one liked me (yes, I know, sounds like a pity party) and I was actively picked on by a bunch of girls. These girls told Jenni to chase me into the toilets and hurt me... so, she did. LoL. Really, I know it's not funny but it is now, after all these years.

The following conversation between 2 8 year olds (Jenni and I):
Me: I'm dobbing on you
Jen: No no... please don't
Me: I'm telling the teacher
Jen: No, don't. I'll be your best friend for a week....
Me: ***thoughtful silence***

I think it's a testament to my desperation that I did not tell the teacher on her. I accepted her offer of friendship for a week. 21 years later, we're still friends. We've seen eachother through a lot of different changes and there have been times where we haven't seen or spoken to eachother for a long time. I moved back to town 2 years ago and I'm so glad that we're still friends.

Jenni - love you babe :-D

Honey Soy Chicken & Noodle Stir Fry

2007-01-12T13:06:00.000+11:00

I took this for my picture of the day yesterday and a few people have asked for the recipe. I thought I'd post it here. I really wanna keep the other blog free for the one a days only. So, if you want a reeeeeeally yummy dinner, check out the recipe below. AND - it's healthy!

I've not been very good about updating lately. I've been doing the one a day photos. I haven't missed a day yet - yay me! I've also been giving up smoking and the computer was a no go zone for me for a while. I'm 12 days down and still counting - yay me! The kids are all still on holidays and Jessie is here for 2 weeks... and I'm not insane yet - yay me! Danny's Nan & Pop were also here for a few days. It's always great to see them. Later today Boo and her daughter are turning up for the weekend - woo hoo! I LOVE that we live close enough to visit this often!!!

So yeah... I haven't been updating as often but I will be soon - hopefully.

Honey Soy Chicken & Noodle Stir Fry

Ingredients

500g chicken breast fillets, skin removed, cut into strips

1/4 cup soy sauce

2 tbs honey

2 tps minced garlic

2 medium carrots, cut into strips

1 medium leek, cut into 5cm strips

2 x 200g packets udon noodles

Method

1. Combine the chicken strips, soy sauce and honey in a medium bowl. Stand for 5 minutes. Drain the chicken, reserve the marinade.

2. Coat a pan with cooking spray and add 1/2 the chicken. Stir-fry for 2 minutes or until just cooked through. Remove from pan, set aside. Repeat with the remaining chicken.

3. To the same pan add the garlic, carrots and leek. Cook, tossing, for 2 minutes then add the chicken, reserved marinade and noodles. Add more water if the noodles stick. Toss until well combined and heated through.

(I don't put the leek in... I don't like it. Instead, I add an extra carrot. I also put an extra packet of noodles in. We have a big family and it helps to make it go that little bit further.)

100 Things About Me

2007-01-08T01:55:00.000+11:00

This came from one of my photog buddies, Amy, who got it from someone else I think who also got it from somewhere else. You know how it is...

Anyways, it's taken me a few days to get this done. I wanted to do it all in one sitting so it just flowed. Well, with 4 kids home on holidays, I eventually gave up trying to get it all done in one go and settled just for getting it done.

Here goes - 100 random things about me...

1. I sometimes look in the mirror and wonder who is looking back at me
2. I only sometimes like that person.
3. I hate cleaning… really, really hate it.
4. I hate having a messy house.
5. I met my husband in a nightclub
6. I ran away from home when I was 14.
7. I love to learn… I get off on the actual learning process.
8. I am honest… sometimes too honest.
9. I detest dishonesty.
10. I have never believed in God although I tried very hard for a good many years.
11. I have one brother and one sister, but they are not related to each other.
12. I met my real father just before I turned 17 years old.
13. I wish I could learn to speak to my father more…
14. I have 4 gorgeous children, completely different from each other
15. I have a step-daughter starting high school this year
16. Sometimes I feel as though I watch my oldest son through a window, but can’t enter the room he lives in.
17. My oldest daughter is my friend.
18. My youngest daughter is my arch enemy!
19. I never realised I could love someone so much, that could drive me so insane!!!
20. My youngest son was a *surprise*.
21. I’m grateful every single day for whatever it was that made our birth control fail.
22. I love that Danny has now had a vasectomy
23. I hate that I find it hard to identify myself without talking about my children or my husband more.
24. I love photography… I feel that I have found my voice with it.
25. I want to become a professional photographer
26. I love to read… true stories, thrillers, old books, not trashy romance novels and not too much fantasy.
27. I am glad that all of my children love to read
28. I have promised that person in the mirror that I would stop eating so much chocolate
29. I don’t watch much television but it’s always on.
30. I’m suddenly buying a lot of pink, girlie things… my mum thinks it’s hilarious.
31. I constantly fear that I’m not a good enough mother
32. I worry that my children may be in therapy in 20 years time for something I didn’t do or for something I didn’t do
33. I have an irrational fear that something is going to happen to my children.
34. I can’t stay off the topic of my children for long
35. I grow attached to inanimate objects… such as my computer, my camera, my bed…
36. I actually ran into a wall and hurt my arm, to protect my camera
37. When I was 5, I wanted to see if my arm was as long as my leg. I was laying down, held onto my foot and straightened my leg. Yeah, umm… arms are shorter. I ended up with the arm in a sling.
38. I got married at 19 years old, almost 10 years ago.
39. I have almost nothing in common with my husband - but he is my knight in shining armour, my superhero, my best friend
40. I hate the cold.
41. I love electric blankets, turned up high.
42. I love open fires, the tingling your face gets after sitting in front of one for a while.
43. I love watching fire… it’s destructive, but so beautiful.
44. Christmas is my favourite celebration and I love creating all that magic for my children
45. Growing up, I always hung out with boys… it’s just so much simpler.
46. My closest friends have always been women (except for Danny, of course)
47. I secretly love bad television… Jerry Springer, daytime soaps, reality tv of all kinds…
48. I’m a sticky beak, a nosy parker, an Esmé Watson
49. I was in a marching band when I was about 11 years old.
50. I played hockey until high school
51. I hated high school
52. I home schooled my 2 oldest children last year.
53. I realised I’m too selfish to be a home schooling mum.
54. I’ve had Post Natal Depression with my last 3 children… Undiagnosed the first time, severe the second time and caught it super quick the last time.
55. I’m alive today because of my amazingly supportive husband and a fantastic counsellor.
56. I have brown hair
57. I have green eyes.
58. I used to have blue eyes
59. I have no idea when my eyes changed colour!
60. I am overweight
61. I am short
62. I am absolutely not comfortable in my own skin
63. I am Buddhist
64. I want to learn to meditate better
65. I am giving up smoking
66. I love chocolate
67. I want to know how to be confident in my capabilities.
68. I want to give my children the gift of a happy childhood.
69. I want to give my children the gift of knowing they are loved… beyond anything else.
70. I wish my step daughter lived with us full time.
71. I worry about what the next 5 years will bring for my step daughter
72. I’m a procrastinator
73. I can justify anything to myself
74. I don’t watch the news, listen to the news or read the news.
75. I never remember anyone’s birthday except for Danny’s, mine and the children’s
76. I am always there for my friends when they need me
77. I am stubborn
78. I constantly doubt myself
79. I am a walking contradiction
80. I still wonder if my father is really my father, but am too scared to get a DNA test done.
81. I get frustrated with my son… his brain power is phenomenal but he has no motivation or drive to do anything with it.
82. I sponsor a child from Africa.
83. I actually don’t have an identity right now. I’m not who I thought I was legally.
84. I hate the new terrorist laws in Australia that put my identity in question
85. I moved around a lot as a child
86. I have a tattoo of a forget-me-not flower on my left breast… for the 3 babies I lost.
87. I hate throwing things away
88. I love my puppy, Jack
89. I’m not a dog person and am afraid of most dogs
90. I love to sing… loud and proud
91. I can not sing, my children think it’s a form of torture
92. I’m a very shy around new people
93. I’m a very loud, crazy, random, weird person around my friends.
94. I am addicted to coke… so much that my sister gave me bottles for a Christmas present one year
95. I miss living in Queensland… the sun, the warmth, the casual lifestyle.
96. Sometimes I resent moving back to New South Wales, but I do know it’s for the right reasons.
97. I finally stopped chewing my nails this year, after having done so for about 20 years.
98. I like to sew, but don’t.
99. I feel undeserving of my husband and children
100. I spend far too much time on the computer

End of Day 5

2007-01-06T01:17:00.000+11:00

Can you believe it? I've made it to the end of day 5!!! I think I'm really going to do it this time!

I still think about having a cigarette after every meal, with every coffee, when I wake up, and at a million other times a day - BUT, I don't really want one. The physical cravings really have been very minimal, it's mostly just been a battle with myself. At times, I've actually sat there and listened to myself argue with my other self for at least 10 minutes... how strange is that?

I wanna say thanks to everyone who's commented. It really is helping... thanks a big smelly pretty bunch of flowers :-) !!!

So, apart from NOT smoking... I've almost completely cleaned my lounge room. I'm pulling the whole room apart and cleaning absolutely everything. Every single book came out of the bookshelf, every DVD, every everything. I'm almost finished. Next room is the kitchen. Everything will come out of the cupboards, etc. I'm doing it for 2 reasons. One, need to keep myself extra busy at the moment and two, I really want the house to be super clean and totally organised by February when the kids go back to school. I'll have 3 in school full time this year and I'm really hoping I can STAY organised and STAY clean. We'll see... but that's the plan.

The kids are booked into swimming lessons. They start on the 11th and go for 9 days. I got a group discount because there's so many kids!

Jessie will be here for 2 weeks starting the 11th.

Danny starts his 2 weeks holidays on the 11th. Yeah, it's all happenning then. He says that he'll be quitting then. I've been trying to not say anything. I don't want to seem pushy. If I do, I know he'll pull in the other direction instead. Cross all your fingers and toes for him.

I think that's all that's going on. Oh, I found my flash manual!!! Julie, aren't you proud?

And it wouldn't feel like a real post without a photo...

LOOK!

Look what Micki was playing with tonight???

How dreadful! She ended up killing it though. I had to wake Danny up to come sweep it outside. Icky!

End of Day 3

2007-01-03T23:24:00.000+11:00

OK.
That was easier.
Kind of.
Big knock down screaming fight with Danny.
That's never fun.
He's smoking again.
Which is fine, really.
Don't like it.
But he's a big boy and it's his choice.
Just hate that the cigarette's are easy to get to again.
Argghhhhh... wanted to run away.
Nearly went to spend the night at a non-smoking friends house.
Called Boo twice - think she's gonna be sick of me soon.
Helps so much.
Glad I didn't go to the friends house now cause...

I made it to the end of the day without a cigarette and I could of gotten one really easily if I wanted to. :)

Anyways, here's my afternoon in photos...

Jadzia let me practice using fil flash on her heaps today. She's great like that.

You can't tell but this was eating Pavlova. Who knew it could be so much fun?

After that, Pacey was running around... showing off and posing for the camera. I got another shot of him looking right at me. I've still got to be super quick to catch it, but he's looking more and more now. :)

My poor girl isn't feeling well. Going to take her to the doctor's tomorrow. I think she has tonsillitis, again. :(

My man stackin' the dishwasher... ahhh... life is sweet. ;)

Just a quick grab. This girl sure loves animals...

It's sooooooo hard!

2007-01-03T00:16:00.000+11:00

It really is.

I know I have to.

But it's sooo hard.

Giving up smoking.

If I knew how hard it was, would I still of started?

Just keep breathing.

Get through this minute, this hour, this day.

Can't do it? Not strong enough?

CALL BOO!!! Get support!

2 days down.

10 days to break a habit.

8 days to go.

I will smell better.

I will breathe better.

I will live longer.

I will make my children happy.

I can do this... maybe.

For your viewing pleasure.

Micki was shot with the 430EX Speedlite. Not bad...

Engagement shoot

2006-12-30T22:14:00.000+11:00

A sneak peak of an engagment shoot I did yesterday.

Still proofing but wanted to share...

Lesson learnt from this session: ALWAYS check my settings when I move to a different lighting situation. :(

PS - Jadzia changed the kitten's name to 'Micki". She named her after Micki James from WWE. Usually, I wouldn't like name changes... but come on, Chelsea??? She knows she can't change the name again now.

New addition to the family

2006-12-27T01:32:00.000+11:00

Meet Chelsea (not my choice in name)

Santa ;-) decided that it was time again...

Santa delivered this adorable kitten to Jadzia for Christmas. He got her from the RSPCA (shelter) which made Jadzia very happy. She still has stitches from being desexed but they come out in a few days. Of course she came with no name. Jadzia first named her Emilina but I said there was nooooooooo way I'd be walking around calling her that. Yeah, I know... mean mummy. So, she's decided on Chelsea.

Jadzia was actually given a kitten for her 5th birthday. He was a gorgeous ginger cat and she was very responsible in looking after him. When we moved from Qld we brought him with us. He hated the crate he was moved in. After we got here, we stayed with my mum while we found a house. When we found one, we brought the box out ready to go... he ran away. He never came back. My mum, Danny's dad and a friend of ours would go past at all different times of the day to see if he was there. We even took Jadzia up on a cooooold winter's night. We thought if he heard her voice he'd be more willing to come. He didn't show up at any of the vets or at the RSPCA. She was absolutely heartbroken.

We didn't want to get another straight away. She really loved him and I didn't want her to think that we thought he was replacable. That was about 18 months ago and we finally decided that it was time again.

She's just the cutest little thing. Full of energy and personality. She's been opening windows and programs for me all night by walking on the keyboard. These photos were taken while she was playing on the shelf behind my monitor. Again taken with the 430EX speedlite and edited using Booster Baby!

He LOOKED!!!

2006-12-26T18:17:00.000+11:00

So I had focus issues, his face still has lunch on it and he had just cut his lip not long before... BUT - he's looking at me! Talk about eye contact avoidance... it has been so hard to get this boy to look at the camera. Yay!

These are also some of the first shots with my new flash. Danny got me the 430EX Speedlite for Christmas - aint he great?! They were edited with my Booster Baby! action.

Wishing you joy

2006-12-24T09:41:00.000+11:00

Christmas is my absolute favourite time of the year. I hope you all have a rockin' holiday and spend time doing whatever it is that Christmas really means to you... for us, it's family, friends and good food.

More from the maternity shoot...

2006-12-20T15:53:00.000+11:00

I can breathe now... I showed them the proofs today and they loved them!

*exhale*

Top 10 Photographs of 2006

2006-12-18T15:20:00.000+11:00

Frederique put this challenge out on her blog. Top 10 photos from 2006 and each with a caption of no more then 5 words. Sounds easy, right? Hmm... not so easy. I was down to 16 and couldn't choose. There were a few that I loved equally and there were some that I thought were technically better then others. I decided to flick through them and see which ones really spoke to me, which ones touched my heart in some way. I haven't done that well with the captions - writing is not my forte. Pssst... Julie? Any idea for a better one on the first one especially?

So, without further ado, here are my favourites - in no particular order except the first one is my total favourite from the year.

Sorrow

Introspection

Last signs of babyhood

Together

Soulful

Laughter

Secret whispers

Childhood fantasies

Distinctive (yeah, I know)

Live Out Loud

I have some idea about my style. Since I'm only new to all this I think I'm still trying different things though. What do YOU think my style is? I would really love to hear what you think...

Oh, and I have to just point out that the 2 of Pacey (in the blue and red t-shirt) have only been defogged and sharpened.

Silly Blogthings Fun

2006-12-18T12:11:00.000+11:00

I just couldn't resist this one. I found it on Sarah's blog and couldn't resist. Danny is forever teasing me about being an American-wannabe.

You Are 34% American

America: You don't love it or want to leave it.But you wouldn't mind giving it an extreme make over.On the 4th of July, you'll fly a freak flag instead...And give Uncle Sam a sucker punch!

How American Are You?

So then I just HAD to try this one... Strange that I'm more Average American then I am American... hmmm?

You Are 60% "Average American"

You are average because you donate to charity.
You are not average since you don't think affirmative action is necessary.

How Average American" Are You?

For the Buddhist in me...

You Have Good Karma

In general, you like to do the right thing when it comes to others.Your caring personality really shines through.Sure, you have your moments of weakness - and occasionally act out.But, all in all, you're karma is good... even with those few dark spots.

How's Your Karma?

I'm also teased for being a perfectionist. If you saw my house you'd never think it though...

hmmm.... hopefully you aren't all sick of me?

You Are 82% Perfectionist

You're a total perfectionist. So go ahead and congratulate yourself on a "perfect" score.The truth is, everyone is sick of living up to your standards. And you're probably even sick them yourself.

Are You a Perfectionist?

Because honesty is important...

You Are 80% Brutally Honest

Most of the time, you tell it like it is. Even if it's hard for people to hear.Sometimes you hold back though, because you never want your honesty to be hurtful.

How Brutally Honest Are You?

...and this one is for you Boo ;)

You Are 20% Nerdy

You are definitely not nerdy - in fact, you probably don't know any nerds.You probably care a little too much about your image. No one will know if you secretly watch Star Trek reruns!

How Nerdy Are You?

Ok - I'm done playing for now...

First Maternity Shoot

2006-12-15T09:55:00.000+11:00

I'm still proofing the session but I couldn't resist putting up a few of my favourites.

Thanks for everyone's support. I really don't think I would of taken the step without it.

Taking the first step

2006-12-13T00:50:00.000+11:00

I did it. Julie? See..? I finally did it.

I finally made a call I've been procrastinating about. I have my first real portfolio building session on Thursday. First time with someone I've never met, first time at a location I've never seen and first maternity shoot. Yep, she's 8 months pregnant. To be honest... I'm nervous as anything. I just hope that I come away with enough good photos to show. Wish me luck...

Here's some from the weekend. A good friend of mine came from out of town. Her children came too. They are seriously the greatest kids. I know everyone says that about the kids they photograph but it's really true. They are young teenagers and they have the best manners, they are both caring, kind, understanding, patient, fun, moral, beautiful children. If my children grow up to have the traits of those 2, I will be a very proud mother indeed. Their parents have done an awesome job.

So... meet Miss S. I'll share some of her brother in my next post. We got TONS of good shots but these are my favourites of her...

Hot pink phone just like mine! Every teenage girls' must ;)

I found my very own wall. It's great. I was stoked when I found that it had this word painted on there.

My favourite... does the red distract?

...and in B&W it takes my breath away.

Oh... and I got the 'mummy tears' moment. I've felt the 'high' that comes with taking some fantastic photos (not to sound in love with myself) but this is the first time I've had the mum cry. Wow... now that's a high!

And finally, here's the missing goofy santa photo of Jess. For some reason I just cannot add it to the other post. Grrr... bad Blogger.

Which Reindeer Are You???

2006-12-11T10:03:00.000+11:00

Found this and thought it would be fun to play.

You Are Prancer

You are the perfect reindeer, with perfect hooves and perfect flying form.
Why You're Naughty: Because you're Santa's pet, and you won't let anyone show you up.
Why You're Nice: You have the softest fur and the sweetest carrot breath.

Which of Santa's Reindeer Are You?

Now, which reindeer are YOU?

Goofy Santa Kids

2006-12-07T14:27:00.000+11:00

Take no notice of the bad mix of clothing. These are actually going to be cropped as square head shots for some Christmas frames I've altered. I'll post some pictures when I have them done.

Here they are being more serious...

For some reason it's not letting me upload the goofy one of Jessie. I'll try to edit it later when it's not throwing a poopy fit.

Busy weekend

2006-12-04T23:56:00.000+11:00

We made Christmas cookies... taking the time to make their names for a snack :-)

The scented pinecones were almost more trouble then they were worth - but they smell fantastic!

And this one of Piper is purely for your viewing pleasure. Just snapped it in a moment... is this the beginning of PCS? (photographer's child syndrome)

Oh Christmas Tree

2006-11-30T15:36:00.000+11:00

It's up!

I looooooooooooooove Christmas! My children are all still young so I still get all the magic of Christmas that comes with that. Last year, our Christmas kinda sucked. Not the day itself, but all the lead up. We were going through massive fights with Jessie's mother. Things were terrible. Finally, 3 days before Christmas I decided enough was enough and we decorated and actually started to feel Christmassy.

This year, I think I'm doubling up!!! I have the bug like I've never had before. We're making teacher's gifts, classmate gifts, decorations, etc. It's so fun! But, it's keeping me sooo busy. I haven't had any time in the last week to get to the message boards I usually live at. In the last 2 weeks I've only picked up the camera to do a family session for a friend and take photos of my decorations. I miss it.

A close up -

It's still not completely finished. I just bought a star to go on top. I have some pretty silver ribbon that I'm making bows with and I also have some clear glass baubles that I'm not sure what to do with. But I think it's sooo pretty. We got tons of new decorations this year and part of that was redoing our colours on the tree.

I'm a mean mummy. I don't have the kids' handmade decorations on my tree. I've very anal about what goes on it. To make it up to the kids though, they each have a tree in their rooms.

By the way... the weird thing I did with the photo of the kids? I actually cloned Jadzia's face from another of the photos. I wasn't sure it would work but everyone I've shown has said they would never of guessed. :)

Family Photo

2006-11-23T15:14:00.000+11:00

I've been terrible about updating at the moment. Sorry. Soooo busy at the moment. I promise to post properly soon. (Knock knock... anyone out there?)

For now, here's a photo of all 5 kids!!! I actually got them all to sit for me... yay! I did something pretty strange with this photo. If you think you know what it is... guess. I'll tell you with the next post.

Meet Danny & Myself...

2006-11-14T23:33:00.000+11:00

We attempted family photos again today and I don't have any to show they were that horrible :-(. But I got this one... and it was aaall worth it. I used the tripod, self timer and my out of shape legs...

Like most women, I don't like photos of myself. Thing is, I realised that I just wasn't in any. I love capturing my children in photographs, capturing the things we do and the little moments. But I want them to look back and remember they had a mother too, not just a live in photographer. So this year, I promised to get in more photos. Easier said then done...

So today, after attempting to wrangle, order, move, mould, bribe, beg and plead with the 5 kids, I handed the camera over to Jadzia and Jessie for a few shots. They got to tell us what to do. It was fun seeing how they wanted us to pose. Anyways, control freak that I am... I had to use the tripod and take some of my own (lucky too, the kids have focus issues ;-) ).

I am in love with this photo. It might not be perfect but I'm trully in love with it. I'm printing this one up 8x10 for my office and when I find a nice frame I think I'm going to swap it for the wedding photo in the lounge room (sooo not happy with that one).

So, we have in-laws coming into town on Friday. It should be really good. Danny turns 30 on Saturday. I wish we could have the hugest party ever and give him the bestest presents... I hate that his birthday is this time of year. So, anyways... a bunch of us are going out for tea to a Chinese restaurant. He's getting a new XBox 360 game from the kids. He's been dying for it to come out. I'm planning on getting something for him just from me... but can't say what cause you never know if he'll be reading.

Jessie seems to be doing fine at school. She was here today and didn't really have anything to say. Hopefully Danny will find out this weekend if anything was done about the teacher that failed her. 2 girls were suspended but I really think the teacher needs to be dealt with also.

Oh oh oh... I got a new phone! It's the Motorola V3 in the hot pink! It's so funny... I'm 28 years old and finally turning into a girl! I love all the girly stuff at the moment...

Well, I guess that's it... long one tonight... hope you're all having a great week!

Friday Five #2

2006-11-11T14:50:00.000+11:00

I'm thinking I should of included just his eyes in this one...?

This was unplanned, but I'm so glad I caught it...Hasn't come out the way I envisioned... love the smiley stamp on his foot though.
Played with some Urban Acid here.
Is this artistic to you... or just plain wrong?

A splash of colour

2006-11-09T01:12:00.000+11:00

Princess Piper says hi...

Twirling, twirling...

Afterwards with Jack...

I just wanted to say thanks for the kind words about Jess. It really sucks. I wish I could be more eloquent but basically... it just sucks.

Things are getting taken care of. The main child in question has been suspended. So far, no news on the teacher that failed her. No contact from her mum today though so Danny was blocked out of going to the school, again. He's going to be there tomorrow when school finishes, waiting at her classroom. She gets picked up by her Nan. He wants to walk her to the car to be sure there's no reprisals outside of school bounds.

My heart hurts

2006-11-08T00:21:00.000+11:00

Today, as I spent my day going through the usual business, this beautiful child was hurting... and when she hurts, my heart hurts.

Why? Why are children cruel? Why are girls in particular so cruel? She has lived through bullying for years now. It has hurt her, scared her, saddened her... but today, today was almost more then she could stand. She was terrified... trully afraid for her own safety.

It's so wrong! And what makes it worse, is when the teachers that are supposed to give them a safe place to learn, to protect them while they are in their care, do nothing... less then nothing actually... when their actions only add to the feelings of helplessness that she has.

I'm hurting for her... but the anger is starting to come through as well. It's so hard knowing that I can't go and roar at everyone, stay close to her to keep her safe, be there when she gets home from school everyday.

Her mum seems to have a handle on the situation. She has set things in motion. The silver lining is that her and Danny are going to deal with this together. It will be very good for Jessie to see that her parents can come together when they need to... to protect her.

I just so wish there was more I could do... I just want to wave my magic wand and make it all better...

Friday Five

2006-11-05T01:26:00.000+11:00

I decided to pick up my camera and just take 5 photos... no redos, no deletes. This is what I came up with:

Our Buddha statue...

My gorgeous furbaby, Jack...
Pacey in the bath...
The Princess and her Daddy...
Yummmmmy pavlova with strawberries...

Lightbulb moments

2006-11-03T00:07:00.000+11:00

The photo isn't great but I wanted one of Danny with all the kids. This was taken Father's Day this year.

I've had quite a few lightbulb moments this year. I actually like them. Not all of them are good ones. I've had to look long and hard at myself this year. I happen to think that I'm actually open to that though, which is good.

I had another one just the other night. I was talking to Danny about how I always give credit away. If I scrap a good page, I'll say it's because I got the idea somewhere else or someone suggested something that made it perfect. If I actually get the house clean, I'll say it's only because I had to. There's a lot of other examples but one of the biggest times I do this is with Danny and our children.

I was telling him that I like buying toys for the kids and telling them that daddy got it for them. I like setting up 'outings' and saying that daddy is taking us out. Clothes, games, take-out... daddy did it. If there's something really really cool, or the kids are with me when I buy/plan/make it... then I'll say it was me.

Danny was saying that it's really silly and asked me why. I told him it's because I wanted to give my children the best dad possible - it's the best gift I could possibly give them. I want them to know how fantastic he is. I want them to know how much he loves them, and how completely. I want them to know that no matter what, no matter where, no matter why... he'll always be there for them. It's the single greatest thing I can think of to give them.

He asks "but what about you?" I say "yeah... but I had a mother".

*ping*

I'm baaaack

2006-10-31T00:34:00.000+11:00

Just a super fast post to let you all know that I'm back. I didn't want to leave you all alone for too long... :)

I had the MOST fantastic weekend. I missed my family like crazy but had sooo much FUN! These are my girls...

Left to right: Tam, Jen, Boo, Lis and Me.

Leaving you all

2006-10-25T11:59:00.000+10:00

I thought that I had better post. I know there are sooo many people that look forward to reading my incredible witty and intelligent posts and seeing my award winning photos...

Yeah, I'm joking. I thought there may be one or two people out there though that would like to know that I'm going away!!! 5 days without Danny or the kids. Wow... I've never done this before. I know that by the time I get home I will have missed them like crazy but I'm sooo looking forward to 'me' time.

I'm going to Melbourne with 4 other women that I met on a message board (2Peas). It's going to be soooooooo cool... well, it better be! :p

So, I'm sorry to leave you all in the dark empty place but I will come back to shine light on you all again :)

Pssst... look what I did

2006-10-25T02:05:00.000+10:00

I'm not totally happy with it but it's my first ever digi-layout. Does the 'melt my heart' make sense?

Busy weekend

2006-10-23T19:28:00.000+10:00

Danny's Nan & Pop surprised us on Thursday night. It's been about a year since we saw them last and it was so great to see them again.

We went to this really cool big playground together on Saturday.

The kids all had a great time. There's so much to play on and it's really spread out. It's also fenced so you feel really safe letting them run around.

We had a BBQ (cook out, for my American buddies).

It was a really nice, busy, fun, spring weekend.

How to really love a child...

2006-10-18T00:13:00.000+10:00

About a year ago I met a fantastic woman online (actually, 4 of them but this is all about Tam). She's got the biggest heart and she's a super talented scrapbooker. I was trying to think of a quote to add to my sidebar when I remembered a layout she'd done. One of the things that stands out to me in her layouts is her journalling - it's always honest and always straight from the heart. The journalling on this particular page was perfect for what I wanted. I did have to shorten it though so I wanted to add the full version here, as well as a link the the fab layout in question.

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Be there ~ say yes as often as possible ~ let them bang on pots and pans ~ if they’re crabby, put them in water. If they’re unlovable, love yourself ~ realize how important it is to be a child ~ Go to a movie theatre in your pajamas ~ read books outloud with joy ~ invent pleasures together ~ remember how really small they are ~ giggle a lot! ~ Surprise them ~ say no when necessary ~ teach feelings ~ Heal your own inner child ~ learn about parenting ~ hug trees together ~ make loving safe ~ bake a cake and eat it with no hands ~ go find elephants and kiss them! Plan to build a rocketship ~ imagine yourself magic ~ make lots of forts with blankets ~ let your angel fly ~ reveal your own dreams ~ search out the positive ~ keep the gleam in your eye ~ mail letters to God ~ encourage silly ~ plant licorice in your garden ~ open up ~ stop yelling ~ express your love ~ A lot ~ Speak kindly ~ paint their tennis shoes ~ Handle with caring Children are Miraculous... ***** Tamara *****

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Link to Tam's layout on Two Peas In A Bucket

I'm still too chicken to post a photo of myself, so here's one taken on a trip to Sydney in April of this year. The tootsie on the left is mine and the nicely manicured tootsie on the right is Tam's.

As you can see, I'm half way through giving the blog a facelift. There's still more to come but I'm happy for now. I'd love to add a song, that you can turn off if you want, that doesn't have a video clip with it. Anyone want to point me in the right direction?

The battle wound

2006-10-15T12:02:00.000+10:00

Poor little princess...

Not only did she have her head wound to deal with, but she tripped over and scrapped her knee. She always feels better when she has her daddy (otherwise known as her 'King' or her 'Higglytown Hero') with her when she's hurting...

Daddy soaked off most of the padding in the bath and had to pull the last bit off... it was stuck to the glue. He let her pull the one off her knee though. She was so brave - such a big girl. Hopefully now she can heal and there'll be no more.

What's funny though, is that I think she's really not meant to have long hair. She's cut it herself 4 times now. It was just about long enough again to get cut at the hairdressers and brought back to normal and this happens. She's had quite a big patch shaved off and almost to the bottom. It's very, very, very short too... going to take years to grow back.

Ah well... here's the head shot. I kept it small so I wouldn't gross anyone out. :)

A new camera lens

2006-10-14T21:33:00.000+10:00

Gotta love this boy!

I got a new lens today thanks to my Mum! Sooo totally cool. I knew it was coming but thought that I was getting on my birthday in January. Nope, it's for my birthday but I didn't have to wait until my birthday.

I didn't really play with it alot. It was latish afternoon when I got it. I did manage to get this shot though. I shot wide open - because I could - but know that I have to learn when to open up and when to close up. I wasn't going to post the photos I took but I love this one. He's such a boy! He wanted to take screaming photos like his big sister did.

So yeah... I'm in Heaven. Well, Nirvana I guess. ;)

Oh yeah... no editing on this one except for defog and usm.

My best shoot so far...

2006-10-12T14:38:00.000+10:00

Had the BEST time yesterday. It was the first time that I knew while I was taking the photos that they were going to be good. This is Jessie, my gorgeous 11 year old stepdaughter.

Without further ado...

Did I mention photo overload??? :p

Today we made a rainbow

2006-10-09T21:45:00.001+10:00

But shhh... it's a secret :)

The smallest child holds the most power!
It so great to be outside and WARM!!! We were sooo over winter...
We got her... he he he
"Ready? Here I goooo......"

This is my favourite shot from the day. After - calmer, wetter, cooler, happier :)

I've been feeling lately as though I can never learn all there is to learn and that I'll never be 'there'. I've been so concerned about the technical aspects and getting the perfect photo that I'd forgotten to take photos just for fun. These were still shot in manual mode. I know there's a ton technically wrong with them... but I have fun. Thanks to my friends at 2 Peas for helping me find fun again...

Quick update on Piper

2006-10-05T23:32:00.000+10:00

Piper is doing fine. She was really tired today and had a headache. We went shopping and she got to buy a pretty hat to wear (yes, photos coming when she feels better) and she also spent her birthday money.

Piper's battle wound

2006-10-05T10:42:00.000+10:00

Well yesterday was fun. Just when it was time to start cooking tea everything went crazy!

Bailey and Piper come running to me. Piper is screaming and crying... almost at the holding her breath stage. I'm trying to settle her down and all I got from Bailey was that they had been playing and she'd fallen and hit her head on the TV cabinet. I finally got her to calm down enough to let go of me. I said "let's look at the bump on your head".

As she pulled back I saw blood on my neck and chest. I looked at her and it was dripping down her neck and had already made the mess you can see on her shirt in the photo. My heart was thumping so hard as I was trying to move her hair aside to find the cut. I'm dreading seeing a massive gash.

It wasn't too bad... probably about an inch long. It was really open though and still bleeding. I held it together, I didn't panic - honest. Took her to the bathroom and got a handtowel onto her head. Jadzia came in to hold it there while I called my mum and asked her to come take us to the hospital - Danny was at work with the car.

She ended up having a patch of hair shaved and glue to patch her up. She is supposed to keep the bandage on for 2 days and not get it wet at all for 3 days. Poor baby.

She was sooo good though. I'm so proud of her. After I calmed her down the first time she didn't cry again. She did sook a little as they were cleaning and sticking the wound but that's to be expected. All she wanted was her daddy though. She got to fall asleep on the lounge next to him and she slept in between us last night.

What had happened was that Bailey had been carrying her on his shoulders (no, he's not allowed to do it) and tripped backwards. She'd fallen and hit her head on the corner of one of the TV cabinet doors. She didn't pass out or anything which is great. Actually, she didn't even complain of a headache at all.

I always say... life is never boring with my kids!

The quest begins...

2006-10-04T17:35:00.000+10:00

I'm determined to get a photo of all our children. I want to have it by the end of the year. Next year, Jessie goes to high school... I can't believe how grown up she is.

So, I know I need a lot of practice before I can get it to work so I've decided to start trying. Jessie wasn't with us but I had my hands full with these four. Pacey would not look at the camera. Piper did everything she could to aggravate Jadzia. Jadzia was being a major pain in the ass. Bailey... well, Bailey was doing really well actually. On top of that, Pacey and Piper both have battle wounds on their faces. *sigh* Let the laughs begin...

I think this is my favourite. At least they are all looking at the camera. I told them to scream, hoping they'd laugh when they finished...

This pose was Bailey's idea. It would of worked well except for the half hidden heads.

Do you think this was exactly what Jadzia wanted to be doing?

I'm sure I don't need to point out what's wrong with this one...

This isn't too bad I guess... for some reason Pacey's forehead looks twice the size it should.

Something in the teeth?

I took about 50 photos and these were some of the better ones. I'm not even going to mention the technical mistakes, the background or the clothing choice. Like I said, this was just practising... learning how to get them all to listen to me, working on composition.

PS - What do you think of the new watermark?

Bailey was LOVING the camera!

2006-10-01T11:00:00.000+10:00

Oh yeah! He's been in a phase where he hates the camera for quite a few months now. I was having to bribe, bargain, beg...

Yesterday we went out to my mum's house while Danny was at work. Bailey WANTED his photo to be taken! He was begging me!!! He had his eyes open, was smiling, getting into different poses... it was so fantastic. He could be completely over it by the next time I pick up the camera but I took it for what it was worth...

Not usually a fan of B&W but it works for me on this one.

He looks far too grown up here...

...and here.

He was playing up to the camera so much. This is his 'Gollum' pose. You know, from Lord of the Rings. It's a little freaky to me but he loves it so I couldn't resist adding it here.

My gorgeous niece

2006-09-16T11:55:00.000+10:00

My sister and her family are visiting for the weekend. She has 4 children so I'm excited that I have new subjects to photograph. I told her that I was telling myself to put the camera down and remember to spend time with them - she says "I don't want you to!" How's that for nice? These are some shots from this morning at the park.

Her name is Tanisha and she's just the cutest little girl ever. She has a 1000 different facial expressions and loves the camera.

I'm having fun chasing her around. I've gotten too used to be able to direct my own children for photographs. Tanisha wasn't taking direction well which was great - pushed me out of my comfort zone.

A few random photos

2006-09-13T12:19:00.000+10:00

I've been naughty and haven't updated lately, so I thought I'd post a few random photos so it looks like I've been a good girl. I have a wonderfully witty post coming soon... I promise.

Do you think he'd had enough?

Oh these eyes...

A pretty gerbera for you.
A rare one of Jadzia smiling!

Attempting the 'artsy' thang at the park.

Steve Irwin dies...

2006-09-05T15:33:00.000+10:00

I just can't believe it. I'm stunned. My heart breaks for his wife and especially for his 2 young children. His son is only 3 years old, he'll never know his father. His daughter is older, and will have her memories, but he was her world and I cannot imagine how she is feeling.

We all knew that he lived life on the edge. It was the way he wanted it. I couldn't count the amount of times I watched him and thought 'he's nuts!' but I loved him.

Celebrity deaths don't usually get to me. I mean, I sit and think about it for a moment or so and think about all that's lost, but then I move on. Steve's death has floored me. I've been feeling so sad since it happened.

I think the world has lost an amazing, funny, caring man, a good man - and it hurts...

My oldest turns nine

2006-09-02T22:43:00.000+10:00

Ahhh... the birthday season has begun! Today was Bailey, in 2 weeks it's Piper, 3 weeks after that it's Jadzia. In November Danny turns 30 years old. I also have my mother and brother and a very good friend in there too.

I'm not sure if I've mentioned it yet or not but Bailey hates having his photo taken. Hates it! I don't know why though because once I get him to agree to it we can get some gorgeous photos, so long as we aren't in bright light. He agreed to give me half an hour today. I only got him to hold for about 15 minutes though.

It was really strange today. We were all excited over it being Bailey's birthday... but I felt so strange knowing that he wasn't going to have a party. And no, I'm not a mean mum. I would have loved to have thrown him a party but he just didn't want one. Bailey has Asperger's. It's low end, high functioning autism. One of his many quirks is that he just doesn't feel comfortable around large groups of people. Last year, I threw him a party anyway and he had a meltdown in the middle. I decided then that we'd do whatever he wanted this year.

So, it was a nice quiet day at home. My mum visited this morning and gave him a gift voucher from the bookstore. They went downtown and picked out a book together. When he got back, his friend was here and they played for a while before my mum took them to the movies. He loves going to the movies, This was his first time going without an adult. They saw 'Hoodwinked'. Danny picked them up and then we had afternoon tea - lollies, chips and lemonade. More play. Tea was his choice - KFC. Danny's dad came to see him which was really nice - I wasn't sure that he would remember. The other great thing about today is that Jessie was able to be here. It wasn't her weekend to be here but with Bailey's birthday today and Father's Day tomorrow, her mum let her come! So, he had his big sister with him.

I know this ohoto isn't 'technically' correct but I love it anyways. I swear, the most used catchphrase in our house is "I didn't do it." Danny and I believe there is a rogue band of fairies in our house. I'm going to have to do an entry with photos of each of the kids so whoever you are out there reading wont get confused as I talk about all of them. I'll get to it some time this month.

This time of year

2006-09-02T14:14:00.000+10:00

I'll be posting 2 entries today but I wanted this one to be separate. Today is Bailey's birthday. I can't blieve he's 9 years old. I write more about that later and post some photos.

It's this time of year that I get thinking. Each year I'm spun out by the idea that I'm the mother of a 1, 2, 3.... 9 year old. And then I think... well, I would of been the mother of a 10 year old. i've gotten to a point where I don't think about the babies that I lost every day, or even every month. But Bailey's birthday is always the trigger for me.

I lost 2 babies before having Bailey and 1 after having Jadzia. I realise that if I had of been able to carry my first pregnancy through to term then I wouldn't have Bailey. I wouldn't go back and change things even if I could. But it still hurts...

Loving Piper...

2006-08-28T18:51:00.000+10:00

Wow, has this girl given me trouble over the years! In 3 weeks she turns 5 years old and it really makes me think. I have been at my wits end with her more times then I can count and certainly more then with any of my other children. Things are really turning around now but it has been very rough for a very long time.

After she was born, I went through pretty bad Post Natal Depression. I credit being alive today to my amazing husband, Danny, and my wonderful counsellor. Without either one of them, I don't know what would of happened. With their support, medication and intense therapy, I came out of 6 months of hell. I think I'll always wonder if the PND was the reason that Piper and I didn't have a very strong bond until recently.

She's the one who's been the climber, the biter, the tantrum thrower (although I did have another one of them). Anything and everything... she's gone through the phase.

A couple of months ago I hit rock bottom. I couldn't take anymore. It was tearing me apart. I had a looong chat with a wonderful person that I met online. I've met her for real and she's someone that I hope has become a long time friend. Anyways, the next day... something was different. I don't know what but I knew that I had to do something.

Things have gotten better and better every day since then. I've learnt to see this beautiful little girl for the unique personality that she is. She's funny. I never noticed that. She's caring. She's helpful. She's clever. She's energetic.

She's my daughter...

I took these on Saturday. She loves hamming it up for the camera these days.

Blowing kisses... can you catch them?

"Hmmm... which pose next Mum?"

Aperture, Shutter Speed, ISO... Arghhhhhhh

2006-08-21T22:55:00.000+10:00

I'm pretty sure that I actually understand the 'triangle'. I've read Understanding Exposure by Bryan Peterson (great book, highly recommend). It all makes sense to me. But when I have the camera in my hands, it just doesn't happen. I dial in numbers, get a correct meter reading, yet almost everything I shoot seems underexposed (that and out of focus). When I overexpose to compensate for that, I end up with blown areas somewhere. ~sigh~

Today I took Piper outside again. I swear, my house has the worst yard for backdrops. Yesterday I took her out so I could play with parametres and I had to bribe her with chocolate! Today she did it for free. Anyways, this photo was the best of the bunch.

A trip to Sydney

2006-08-14T21:09:00.000+10:00

Last weekend we took the 2 older kids to Sydney for the weekend. Danny and Jadzia went to the Wrestling Summerslam show on Friday night while Bailey and I spent time with a friend and her family. Danny and Jadzia said the show was the best! I'm so glad they had a great time and I feel good that we're at a point in our lives where we can finally do these kinds of things.

While they were at the wrestling, we were walking around Sydney. We started at Circular Quay and walked up to the Opera House and around Farm Cove through the Botanic Gardens. We walked a little further then that before it got dark and we headed back to the train station. It was horrid weather and made it very hard to take any photos.

On Saturday, we took the kids to Taronga Zoo. We had strange weather, a little bit of every season in the same day. I think the only thing we didn't get was snow. We had the best time. The kids behaved themselves so well and it was great to see Danny looking so relaxed and happy.

It was hard to take photos that didn't look like they were taken in a zoo. Cages, glass and obviously man made enclosures made it hard work. I felt a little sad seeing the animals. They are beautiful and it's great that we do get to see them but the enclosures at Taronga are so small. We're planning on going to Western Plains Zoo in the next holidays. It's so much bigger and the animals have so much more room. We'll be taking all 5 kids with us for that one.

Here's a small selection of the photos I took...

PS - I named the puppy Jack. He's still gorgeous and doing just great!

My new furbaby

2006-07-26T12:32:00.000+10:00

I love my new puppy! Isn't he just gorgeous?

I'll have better photos soon but I couldn't resist posting now. He's a 7 week old Maltese. My poor boy is currently without a name. I like Charlie but Danny doesn't. We all kind of like Casper, but it just doesn't seem right to me. Danny likes Mojo, and so do I... but then I think about calling him loudly at a park?

He already knows me and as soon as I sit on the floor he comes running. It's so sweet!

Random...

2006-07-18T22:18:00.000+10:00

Random photos, random thoughts, random doings... that's what this will be about. Hopefully it will be interesting enough for someone to want to look at, but if not, that's ok too... cause it will be just me - just so random...