First days...

*** WARNING: photo overload ***

Yesterday (Tuesday) was Jessie's first day of high school. She had been nervous but excitement took over a few days before. She's had a new haircut and that, coupled with the uniform, make her look so much older. Everyone is having the time of their lives teasing Danny about having a child old enough to be in high school...

Skip to today... Piper's first day of kindergarten. Omgosh... if only you knew. Years ago, I couldn't wait for this day... when she would be out of the house and away. Now though, I just want to hold her close and not let her go. I've so much to make up for and never enough time.

I'm weird? Come on... it's all about the lunch box baby!!!

On the path... headed away... I didn't cry, really I didn't.

Just think... next year I'll have 4 of them lining up for this shot. I might try to get all 5 actually.

This was my gift for the day... I just wish I had of thrown Pacey into the mix.

Big brother... big sister... leading the way.
A little unsure... omgosh, I wanted to go sit with her so bad!

A last hug goodbye to Granma before heading off...

Walking up the stairs - to her classroom and away from me.

A kiss from a princess to her daddy... and one in return.

Well... I did warn you about the overload :)

I'm back!!!

Did you miss me?

Come on... just a little?

Well... I took my computer away with me - I was all geared up to be a good girl while I was on holiday and keep up with my photo a day and maybe update here with some holiday snaps. I also had to upload pics for my Impact Posing course at www.ppsop.com. Day 1... turn puter on to upload my deadline assignment photos.... nothing. Yep, nothing. Omgosh... panic stations. I go into panic mode and Danny goes into 'knight in shining armour' mode. He's running all these diagnostic tests and trying everything... still no go. Windows wouldn't even load. I call Dell... bad bad news - hard drive has crashed! Tears, tantrums... meltdown mode for sure.

Danny grabs the kids and takes them to the motel pool, hoping I'll calm down while he's gone. I don't plan to... Next thing, I'm on the phone to my mum, asking her to log into Hello under my name and contact Julie (her blog is in the list on the right - That Red Dirt Road) for me. Julie is also taking the posing course. I'd sent her pics from my practice shoot... was thinking I could use them. No go though - exif data was no longer attached. So, I'm talking to Julie, through my mum... still crying... and they were both great. Instructors too... they let me post my assignmennt late. Ok, time to breathe now and force all thoughts of the hard drive out of my head to enjoy the holiday. *sigh*

We had the BESTEST time!!! It's the first time we've ever gone on holiday. We've gone visiting before... but never just simply on holiday. We did a bunch of stuff... the kids were fantastic too and Danny really relaxed. I have 5gb of memory cards full of photos to sort through, process and post. I can't even start that until Dell bring the new hard drive though (I'm on the kids' sucky sucky computer). So... be prepared to be bombarded with photos at that point.

I plan on doing some serious blog surfing this week... as well as checkng in on the message boards I hang out... I've missed chatting with all my internet buddies, but it was good to see that I can actually survive without the computer when needed.

Remember my engagement couple?

This couple?

Well..... I've been sitting on a bit of a secret. Wanna know? You can probably already see anyways... if not, scroll down........

.....

nope, further...

Yep - today was their big day. Mick & Paula, I wish you the very best that life can bring... and for the times when life is bringing less then it's best, I wish for you the strength, commitment and compassion to carry you through. I want to thank you both for believing in me and wanting me to be your photographer. Oh, and that cake was DEL-IC-IOUS!!! I couldn't stop thinking of M's profiterole story though ;-).

Here's a few to tide you over...

The GORgeous Miss K - flower girl extraordinaire! She has the most beautiful, dark, soulful eyes...

One of my favourites from the day...

So, in just a few hours I'm off to the beach for a week! What a way to spend the last week of the school holidays, huh? When we get back, it will be a mad dash to make sure we have everything we need, etc. Piper goes to kindergarten this year. She's so little it just seems so wrong....

So yeah, I'll be getting on once a day (I think) to post my photo a day, but that's probably all I would do.

Puh-lease check this website out...

... and if you can find it in your heart to contribute, then that's great. Either way, send the link to tons of people and maybe some of them can donate.

http://projectsahm.blogspot.com/

I am NOT affiliated with this in any way. I found this while blog surfing and think it's wonderful. I wanted to help get it noticed.

ps - big day tomorrow girls, wish me luck :)

Meet Jenni --->

Isn't she gorgeous? I mean really... just look at those eyes!

Jenni came over the other day to pose for me. I'm doing a course at www.ppsop.com on Impact Posing and needed a female model. Isn't she great?

Jenni and I have been friends since we were 8 years old. It really is the funniest story. She's going to kill me for telling you - but hey, this is my blog... right? :-)

Well... I was the new girl in Year 3 at school. No one liked me (yes, I know, sounds like a pity party) and I was actively picked on by a bunch of girls. These girls told Jenni to chase me into the toilets and hurt me... so, she did. LoL. Really, I know it's not funny but it is now, after all these years.

The following conversation between 2 8 year olds (Jenni and I):
Me: I'm dobbing on you
Jen: No no... please don't
Me: I'm telling the teacher
Jen: No, don't. I'll be your best friend for a week....
Me: ***thoughtful silence***

I think it's a testament to my desperation that I did not tell the teacher on her. I accepted her offer of friendship for a week. 21 years later, we're still friends. We've seen eachother through a lot of different changes and there have been times where we haven't seen or spoken to eachother for a long time. I moved back to town 2 years ago and I'm so glad that we're still friends.

Jenni - love you babe :-D

Honey Soy Chicken & Noodle Stir Fry

I took this for my picture of the day yesterday and a few people have asked for the recipe. I thought I'd post it here. I really wanna keep the other blog free for the one a days only. So, if you want a reeeeeeally yummy dinner, check out the recipe below. AND - it's healthy!

I've not been very good about updating lately. I've been doing the one a day photos. I haven't missed a day yet - yay me! I've also been giving up smoking and the computer was a no go zone for me for a while. I'm 12 days down and still counting - yay me! The kids are all still on holidays and Jessie is here for 2 weeks... and I'm not insane yet - yay me! Danny's Nan & Pop were also here for a few days. It's always great to see them. Later today Boo and her daughter are turning up for the weekend - woo hoo! I LOVE that we live close enough to visit this often!!!

So yeah... I haven't been updating as often but I will be soon - hopefully.

Honey Soy Chicken & Noodle Stir Fry

Ingredients

500g chicken breast fillets, skin removed, cut into strips

1/4 cup soy sauce

2 tbs honey

2 tps minced garlic

2 medium carrots, cut into strips

1 medium leek, cut into 5cm strips

2 x 200g packets udon noodles

Method

1. Combine the chicken strips, soy sauce and honey in a medium bowl. Stand for 5 minutes. Drain the chicken, reserve the marinade.

2. Coat a pan with cooking spray and add 1/2 the chicken. Stir-fry for 2 minutes or until just cooked through. Remove from pan, set aside. Repeat with the remaining chicken.

3. To the same pan add the garlic, carrots and leek. Cook, tossing, for 2 minutes then add the chicken, reserved marinade and noodles. Add more water if the noodles stick. Toss until well combined and heated through.

(I don't put the leek in... I don't like it. Instead, I add an extra carrot. I also put an extra packet of noodles in. We have a big family and it helps to make it go that little bit further.)

100 Things About Me

This came from one of my photog buddies, Amy, who got it from someone else I think who also got it from somewhere else. You know how it is...

Anyways, it's taken me a few days to get this done. I wanted to do it all in one sitting so it just flowed. Well, with 4 kids home on holidays, I eventually gave up trying to get it all done in one go and settled just for getting it done.

Here goes - 100 random things about me...

1. I sometimes look in the mirror and wonder who is looking back at me
2. I only sometimes like that person.
3. I hate cleaning… really, really hate it.
4. I hate having a messy house.
5. I met my husband in a nightclub
6. I ran away from home when I was 14.
7. I love to learn… I get off on the actual learning process.
8. I am honest… sometimes too honest.
9. I detest dishonesty.
10. I have never believed in God although I tried very hard for a good many years.
11. I have one brother and one sister, but they are not related to each other.
12. I met my real father just before I turned 17 years old.
13. I wish I could learn to speak to my father more…
14. I have 4 gorgeous children, completely different from each other
15. I have a step-daughter starting high school this year
16. Sometimes I feel as though I watch my oldest son through a window, but can’t enter the room he lives in.
17. My oldest daughter is my friend.
18. My youngest daughter is my arch enemy!
19. I never realised I could love someone so much, that could drive me so insane!!!
20. My youngest son was a *surprise*.
21. I’m grateful every single day for whatever it was that made our birth control fail.
22. I love that Danny has now had a vasectomy
23. I hate that I find it hard to identify myself without talking about my children or my husband more.
24. I love photography… I feel that I have found my voice with it.
25. I want to become a professional photographer
26. I love to read… true stories, thrillers, old books, not trashy romance novels and not too much fantasy.
27. I am glad that all of my children love to read
28. I have promised that person in the mirror that I would stop eating so much chocolate
29. I don’t watch much television but it’s always on.
30. I’m suddenly buying a lot of pink, girlie things… my mum thinks it’s hilarious.
31. I constantly fear that I’m not a good enough mother
32. I worry that my children may be in therapy in 20 years time for something I didn’t do or for something I didn’t do
33. I have an irrational fear that something is going to happen to my children.
34. I can’t stay off the topic of my children for long
35. I grow attached to inanimate objects… such as my computer, my camera, my bed…
36. I actually ran into a wall and hurt my arm, to protect my camera
37. When I was 5, I wanted to see if my arm was as long as my leg. I was laying down, held onto my foot and straightened my leg. Yeah, umm… arms are shorter. I ended up with the arm in a sling.
38. I got married at 19 years old, almost 10 years ago.
39. I have almost nothing in common with my husband - but he is my knight in shining armour, my superhero, my best friend
40. I hate the cold.
41. I love electric blankets, turned up high.
42. I love open fires, the tingling your face gets after sitting in front of one for a while.
43. I love watching fire… it’s destructive, but so beautiful.
44. Christmas is my favourite celebration and I love creating all that magic for my children
45. Growing up, I always hung out with boys… it’s just so much simpler.
46. My closest friends have always been women (except for Danny, of course)
47. I secretly love bad television… Jerry Springer, daytime soaps, reality tv of all kinds…
48. I’m a sticky beak, a nosy parker, an Esmé Watson
49. I was in a marching band when I was about 11 years old.
50. I played hockey until high school
51. I hated high school
52. I home schooled my 2 oldest children last year.
53. I realised I’m too selfish to be a home schooling mum.
54. I’ve had Post Natal Depression with my last 3 children… Undiagnosed the first time, severe the second time and caught it super quick the last time.
55. I’m alive today because of my amazingly supportive husband and a fantastic counsellor.
56. I have brown hair
57. I have green eyes.
58. I used to have blue eyes
59. I have no idea when my eyes changed colour!
60. I am overweight
61. I am short
62. I am absolutely not comfortable in my own skin
63. I am Buddhist
64. I want to learn to meditate better
65. I am giving up smoking
66. I love chocolate
67. I want to know how to be confident in my capabilities.
68. I want to give my children the gift of a happy childhood.
69. I want to give my children the gift of knowing they are loved… beyond anything else.
70. I wish my step daughter lived with us full time.
71. I worry about what the next 5 years will bring for my step daughter
72. I’m a procrastinator
73. I can justify anything to myself
74. I don’t watch the news, listen to the news or read the news.
75. I never remember anyone’s birthday except for Danny’s, mine and the children’s
76. I am always there for my friends when they need me
77. I am stubborn
78. I constantly doubt myself
79. I am a walking contradiction
80. I still wonder if my father is really my father, but am too scared to get a DNA test done.
81. I get frustrated with my son… his brain power is phenomenal but he has no motivation or drive to do anything with it.
82. I sponsor a child from Africa.
83. I actually don’t have an identity right now. I’m not who I thought I was legally.
84. I hate the new terrorist laws in Australia that put my identity in question
85. I moved around a lot as a child
86. I have a tattoo of a forget-me-not flower on my left breast… for the 3 babies I lost.
87. I hate throwing things away
88. I love my puppy, Jack
89. I’m not a dog person and am afraid of most dogs
90. I love to sing… loud and proud
91. I can not sing, my children think it’s a form of torture
92. I’m a very shy around new people
93. I’m a very loud, crazy, random, weird person around my friends.
94. I am addicted to coke… so much that my sister gave me bottles for a Christmas present one year
95. I miss living in Queensland… the sun, the warmth, the casual lifestyle.
96. Sometimes I resent moving back to New South Wales, but I do know it’s for the right reasons.
97. I finally stopped chewing my nails this year, after having done so for about 20 years.
98. I like to sew, but don’t.
99. I feel undeserving of my husband and children
100. I spend far too much time on the computer

End of Day 5

Can you believe it? I've made it to the end of day 5!!! I think I'm really going to do it this time!

I still think about having a cigarette after every meal, with every coffee, when I wake up, and at a million other times a day - BUT, I don't really want one. The physical cravings really have been very minimal, it's mostly just been a battle with myself. At times, I've actually sat there and listened to myself argue with my other self for at least 10 minutes... how strange is that?

I wanna say thanks to everyone who's commented. It really is helping... thanks a big smelly pretty bunch of flowers :-) !!!

So, apart from NOT smoking... I've almost completely cleaned my lounge room. I'm pulling the whole room apart and cleaning absolutely everything. Every single book came out of the bookshelf, every DVD, every everything. I'm almost finished. Next room is the kitchen. Everything will come out of the cupboards, etc. I'm doing it for 2 reasons. One, need to keep myself extra busy at the moment and two, I really want the house to be super clean and totally organised by February when the kids go back to school. I'll have 3 in school full time this year and I'm really hoping I can STAY organised and STAY clean. We'll see... but that's the plan.

The kids are booked into swimming lessons. They start on the 11th and go for 9 days. I got a group discount because there's so many kids!

Jessie will be here for 2 weeks starting the 11th.

Danny starts his 2 weeks holidays on the 11th. Yeah, it's all happenning then. He says that he'll be quitting then. I've been trying to not say anything. I don't want to seem pushy. If I do, I know he'll pull in the other direction instead. Cross all your fingers and toes for him.

I think that's all that's going on. Oh, I found my flash manual!!! Julie, aren't you proud?

And it wouldn't feel like a real post without a photo...

LOOK!

Look what Micki was playing with tonight???

How dreadful! She ended up killing it though. I had to wake Danny up to come sweep it outside. Icky!

End of Day 3

OK.
That was easier.
Kind of.
Big knock down screaming fight with Danny.
That's never fun.
He's smoking again.
Which is fine, really.
Don't like it.
But he's a big boy and it's his choice.
Just hate that the cigarette's are easy to get to again.
Argghhhhh... wanted to run away.
Nearly went to spend the night at a non-smoking friends house.
Called Boo twice - think she's gonna be sick of me soon.
Helps so much.
Glad I didn't go to the friends house now cause...

I made it to the end of the day without a cigarette and I could of gotten one really easily if I wanted to. :)

Anyways, here's my afternoon in photos...

Jadzia let me practice using fil flash on her heaps today. She's great like that.

You can't tell but this was eating Pavlova. Who knew it could be so much fun?

After that, Pacey was running around... showing off and posing for the camera. I got another shot of him looking right at me. I've still got to be super quick to catch it, but he's looking more and more now. :)

My poor girl isn't feeling well. Going to take her to the doctor's tomorrow. I think she has tonsillitis, again. :(

My man stackin' the dishwasher... ahhh... life is sweet. ;)

Just a quick grab. This girl sure loves animals...

It's sooooooo hard!

It really is.

I know I have to.

But it's sooo hard.

Giving up smoking.

If I knew how hard it was, would I still of started?

Just keep breathing.

Get through this minute, this hour, this day.

Can't do it? Not strong enough?

CALL BOO!!! Get support!

2 days down.

10 days to break a habit.

8 days to go.

I will smell better.

I will breathe better.

I will live longer.

I will make my children happy.

I can do this... maybe.

For your viewing pleasure.

Micki was shot with the 430EX Speedlite. Not bad...